Can you tell someone that you don't want their opinion without hurting their feelings? Here's the general situation and set up:
A co-worker (#1) and I were having a private conversation in a public place. Another co-worker (#2) approaches our conversations and asks "Can I say something here?" - My response was "No - not really" (and yes, I was probably VERY ticked off in my tone) and never took my eyes off my co-worker (#1) as we continued our conversation. After a few moments co-worker (#2) then gets huffy and storms out the door between co-worker #1 and myself saying something about not being allowed to speak and something else, I think.
So now what?
I didn't ask for the #2's opinion, #1 didn't ask for #2's opinion, #1 had the choice of saying no, I'd like to hear what #2 has to say.
2 comments:
since your not taking advice today - and your in a public forum - i'm gonna give it to you anyway ... during my time in hell (remember that?), i found that the best thing to do is keep private matters private and not discuss them in public. yourself and #1 should have gone behind closed doors.
the other important lession i learned while in hell - was to keep your mouth shut when you've you find yourself an innocent bystander.
if you and #1 were in the copy room and #2 came in to make a copy. instead of eavsdropping on the conversation - #2 should have made his/her copies and left the area pretending to be a deaf mute.
i think your good. here. however, knowing you as my sister - i can 1/2 way imagine how you came across -- and regardless of the fact you were right --- you need to be careful of your actions and tone of voice; no matter what (hard i know..believe me i know - since living in nc, i'm the most misunderstood individual in the state). just think - you are a witness for Jesus Christ. your mannerism could have been misconscrewed in #2's eyes and you could have very well messed up an opportunity for the lord.
you may need to find it within yourself to go to #2 and appologize for your reaction and explain that you were having a private conversation even though it was in a public place. looking back now, you realize that the conversation should have been held elsewhere.
so there's my two cents worth of unsolicted oppinon.
lya / lb
fyi #2 is now speaking to me...and as soon as the opportunity affords itself, I will reapproach the matter and do as God leads.
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