Journal of Joy

Busy Bee

2009-09-26T11:57:00.003-04:00

Well, as you can clearly see it's been months since my last post. I've gone back to my old habits of not thinking just doing. However here at the Benfield homestead we've done quite a bit such as; survived the summer, failed out and restarted school, taken up lots and lots of bowling, continued to exercise, work and work some more, build a deck, turn the deck into a porch, add lights, throw a party to break in the new porch, been sick, been well, been in debt, out of debt, traded trucks and cars, but alas have not written one single journal entry.

Over the summer our wonderful neighbor's had their brother staying with them and he is quite talented and always has a story to tell. He along with his brother, my dad, and some additional friends have built the most beautiful porch I've even seen. It's perfect for rainy days such as this. ahh....

Today I write to you from my sick bed which I should be able to remove myself from in another day. YEAH!!! I dislike Eve! grr...

Old vs. New

2009-09-26T01:21:00.002-04:00

I too am out with the old and in with the new. Goodbye BMW hello Cheverlot. I'm very excited about this new ride that's been added to our family. I'll have to get some pictures to share. It been a long time since I've blogged. I've been inspired again by a friend from high school to take a moment and reflect on the things of life and write about them. This is for my own good.

1) Ruby turned 18 -
2) New porch
3) Family life
4) Dad's adventures
5) My wonderful husband

So for now I'll say goodnight and get to some of this tomorrow.

Mother's Day Tradition

2009-05-13T21:56:00.005-04:00

We did it again... my girlfriend and I came together to talk to honor our moms

Our mom's who art in Heaven
Honored is your name
Here on Earth we miss you
In God's Kingdom you reside

The Prom

2009-05-10T07:01:00.006-04:00

There is an army of people that I need to thank for helping get our Ruby through her first prom.

There is the dress donor - Becca
There is the alteration lady - name unknown - aka the cleaners
There is the hair lady - Cindy
There is the toe specialist financier - Poppy
There is the nail specialist financier - Tiff
There is the main photographer - James
There is the photographer's assist - Tiffi
There is the shoe and jewlery and purse donor - Julie
There is the spray on tan lady - Denise
There is the callers of encouragement - Jerry, Becca, Joann, Robin, Cindy, Tiffi, Poppy and Julie

I would never have made it to the end without these folks.

I don't know what I can say about Ruby that my hubby didn't already say. She is the closest thing to a daughter that we have. I'm so very proud of her. She's been planning for prom for almost a year, sorta like a wedding. I finally became engaged a the 5th month out point - January.

The prayer is that she had a BLAST, a safe time, and most of all an evening to remember. Please refer to my hubby's blog for the most emotional read in a long time. I would say read the title.... xxx... but apparently my hubby doesn't title his... and that's ok,,, just so you know the posts are dated 5/9/09 and the read begins w/ "This is Ruby" and here is the link ... http://courage1246.blogspot.com/

Healing

2009-05-05T20:30:00.002-04:00

Well, #2 is now talking to me and we have come an agreement. Well not so much an agreement as an understanding. I apologized for seeming/being rude and #2 accepted the apology. #2 understands that it was a private conversation and that #2 shouldn't have nosed in.

All has returned to the "norm" at the place that serves the "pies".

Pondering?

2009-04-14T09:08:00.004-04:00

Can you tell someone that you don't want their opinion without hurting their feelings? Here's the general situation and set up:

A co-worker (#1) and I were having a private conversation in a public place. Another co-worker (#2) approaches our conversations and asks "Can I say something here?" - My response was "No - not really" (and yes, I was probably VERY ticked off in my tone) and never took my eyes off my co-worker (#1) as we continued our conversation. After a few moments co-worker (#2) then gets huffy and storms out the door between co-worker #1 and myself saying something about not being allowed to speak and something else, I think.

So now what?

I didn't ask for the #2's opinion, #1 didn't ask for #2's opinion, #1 had the choice of saying no, I'd like to hear what #2 has to say.

Running forward

2009-04-03T09:48:00.006-04:00

Pretty much over the last month, I've been running forward without taking time for much reflection. Let's see what I've accomplished...

With God's help - I've managed to stay positive and face each day with courage. I may have a tendency to a little sad, but so far so good.

With God's help - I've managed to juggle husband, family, dogs, gym (not so good on this point, but managing), water aerobics, serving slices, holding down the main job, getting to church (most of the time - on time), meeting up with high school buddies, work buddies, and made plans for the future, to meet up with more friends and co-workers and high school buddies.

With God's help - today I will bake, not burn cookies for our church outreach for this weekend.

It's been a busy time, but God is with me each step of the way.

A BOLD DAY

2009-03-24T23:24:00.003-04:00

Today, I was very bold in my words. Normally, I'm very laid back and don't get to vocal about things. Today, I had to say "back off" and "no way" and "I'm not doing that", in a most polite and FIRM way. I was heard, I pulled no punches, didn't raise my voice or use ALL CAPITAL LETTERS.

All in all a most productive day.

Lost sight of my Goal

2009-03-11T08:10:00.003-04:00

I admit, I've not been to the gym in 11 days. I've been feeling pretty good and lost sight of my ultimate goal. I need to do some REAL soul searching to find out the stumbling block.

Proud

2009-03-10T13:03:00.004-04:00

My hubby has started on a quest to become a Paramedic. I know that he'll be GREAT at whatever he sets his mind to. This is the beginning of the journey for path in his life and I support him 100%.

Being that humble hero that he is, he doesn't really want a lot of attention drawn to him and I understand that, so without making a HUGE fuss (and you know I can, I am holding back). I'm proud of that man of mine for jumping out there and taking this thing that he loves to the next level.

Taz has surgery

2009-03-10T12:58:00.004-04:00

Well, we (as doggie parents) did it. We had our lab "fixed". I'm not sure that he was broken, but I certainly wanted to be a good parent and prevent him from having a disease in the future. Our boy is now and "it". :(... I had really wanted a descendant puppy from those good personality genetics... but that will not be happening now. I'm ok with that, cause we don't really need a puppy in the house. Need vs. want.

A day to remember

2009-03-09T17:59:00.003-04:00

Father Daughter Day @ Jonas Ridge.

I had a great day with my dad on Saturday. We had a father-daughter date. He drove us up to Jonas Ridge where I proceded to go snow tubing for the first time. WOW, what a rush!! Sliding down the side on the mountain was a lot of fun. There were a couple of other groups there on the mountain with me. Watching them was almost much fun as sliding myself.

It turned out to be a perfect day, not to cold, cause I don't like it that way. The snow was packed well and made the sliding fast and fun. We had a great conversation during our ride. I know that this is and will be a wonderful memory that I'll treasure.

This is a treat that will have to go on the "do this again" list.

A day to Forget

2009-02-17T14:31:00.003-05:00

Yesterday is a day that I think that we'll just write off and call a wash. It was crazy from the "get-go". Maybe it was cause it was a Monday, maybe the moon and stars were not aligned properly. Maybe, just maybe it was a test of tolerance that I FAILED miserable.

I was juggling 3 IM's, 3 phone calls (and yes, I know that I only have 2 ears) and several urgent things that needed to be handled all in a matter of a few mins. When the last thing went wrong (which was a small thing in light of the whole scheme of things), I lost "it", I really just lost "it". Needless to say, I got "it" back rather quickly, but not quickly enough. I never should have lost "it" to begin with. It didn't send the whole day into a burning ring of fire, but it was enough to put the day on the teetering edge of a high cliff.

GRANDMA'S HANDS

2009-01-30T12:27:00.006-05:00

Grandma, some ninety plus years, sat feebly on the patio bench.
She didn't move, just sat with her head down staring at her hands.
When I sat down beside her she didn't acknowledge my presence and the longer I sat I wondered if she was OK.

Finally, not really wanting to disturb her but wanting to check on her at the same time, I asked her if she was OK. She raised her head and looked at me and smiled. "Yes, I'm fine, thank you for asking," she said in a clear voice strong.

"I didn't mean to disturb you, grandma, but you were just sitting here staring at your hands and I wanted to make sure you were "OK," I explained to her.

"Have you ever looked at your hands," she asked. "I mean really looked at your hands?"

I slowly opened my hands and stared down at them. I turned them over, palms up and then palms down. No, I guess I had never really looked at my hands as I tried to figure out the point she was making.

Grandma smiled and related this story:

"Stop and think for a moment about the hands you have, how they have served you well throughout your years. These hands, though wrinkled shriveled and weak have been the tools I have used all my life to reach out and grab and embrace life.

"They braced and caught my fall when as a toddler I crashed upon the floor.
They put food in my mouth and clothes on my back. As a child, my mother taught me to fold them in prayer. They tied my shoes and pulled on my boots. They held my husband and wiped my tears when he went off to war.

"They have been dirty, scraped and raw, swollen and bent. They were uneasy and clumsy when I tried to hold my newborn son. Decorated with my wedding band they showed the world that I was married and loved someone special. They wrote my letters to him and trembled and shook when I buried my parents and spouse.

"They have held my children and grandchildren, consoled neighbors, and shook in fists of anger when I didn't understand. They have covered my face, combed my hair, and washed and cleansed the rest of my body. They have been sticky and wet, bent and broken, dried and raw. And to this day when not much of anything else of me works real well these hands hold me up, lay me down, and again continue to fold in prayer.

"These hands are the mark of where I've been and the ruggedness of life.
But more importantly it will be these hands that God will reach out and take when he leads me home. And with my hands He will lift me to His side and there I will use these hands to touch the face of His Son Jesus........

I will never look at my hands the same again. But I remember He reached out and took my grandma's hands and led her home.

When my hands are hurt or sore or when I stroke the face of my children and husband I think of grandma. I know she has been stroked and caressed and held by the hands of God.

I, too, want to touch the face of God and feel His hands upon my face.
-- Author Unknown

Renewing Friendships - Facebook

2009-01-28T14:51:00.004-05:00

Last night I helped "Pumpkin pie" aka "guppy lips" set up a facebook account. I just love the fact that this person loves life, has one of the best laughes and can laugh with the best of them.

I drawn to this person. I know when it's time to speak to them cause God puts them on my heart and drops their phone number right into my head out of the blue. This is really the only one that I can remember. I know it by heart.

We've been apart quite a while it's just the way the world works, but with facebook it won't be so long between contacts and hopefully we can get face to face soon.

Missing him...

2009-01-28T13:38:00.003-05:00

I miss him. I guess it's only fair, I'm gone when he's there alone with the dogs. It could be the rainy, foggy, dreary weather that accentuates it, but I miss him.

He really brings laughter to my life that I don't seem to be able to bring by myself. I'm free to joke and laugh and say stupid stuff cause I know that he'll still love me.

Odd Invitation

2009-01-20T23:16:00.005-05:00

I've never come across this before and it must be a sign that the economy must be in bad shape.

My doctors' front desk person called me at home to:

a. check on my general health or check up on my payments.
b. update my record and make sure my home phone number was right
c. invite me to come in for a physical and a check-up so that I could owe them more money.

If you've ever listened to John Boy and Billy you know to take "C".

I was shocked and recovered in time to decline this lovely gesture of caring about my health. No, not that I don't have physicals each year, I do. No, I do go to see the doctor when I need to, most of the time in time enough to get an IV of antibiotic and a prescription. My doctor likes the needle, I do not.

Anyway I respectfully declined the invite and informed her that I was not due for ANYTHING as I just finished up a round of tests in October.

Against self check-out

2009-01-20T23:02:00.007-05:00

I have decided that I'm against self check-out. There are a couple of reasons...

1. If I don't use self check-out I'm providing someone an opportunity to have a job, and that is a good thing. Even if the thing that I'm buying is probably made in China, I can provide an American the chance to check me out and take my American plastic which is hooked up to my American money.

2. I pretty much talk to myself most days, so it's an opportunity to interact with another individual. Since the market is swinging to customer service those serving in these fields are certainly more than likely ready to be more pleasant.

Something to think about... :)

Psalm 15

2009-01-15T13:28:00.002-05:00

Psalm 15 - A psalm of David.
1 LORD, who may dwell in your sanctuary?
Who may live on your holy hill?

2 He whose walk is blameless
and who does what is righteous,
who speaks the truth from his heart

3 and has no slander on his tongue,
who does his neighbor no wrong
and casts no slur on his fellowman,

4 who despises a vile man
but honors those who fear the LORD,
who keeps his oath even when it hurts,

5 who lends his money without usury
and does not accept a bribe against the innocent.
He who does these things
will never be shaken.

Great news!

2009-01-15T13:24:00.003-05:00

We the admin team at IBM get to have our manager back. I don't know about all the others, but I am one happy chick.

Sillyness

2009-01-13T18:30:00.000-05:00

Click Clack Moo! -- guess where I saw this sign

Out of the house

2009-01-13T00:39:00.002-05:00

I actually got out of the house today. It may not be a big deal for 98% of the population, but for me it's a big deal. I need a plan, a reason, or a couple of reasons for what seems to me as randomly leaving the house.

Also, leaving the house and driving my car actually increases the chances that I'll crash. That may not be a big deal to some, but for me and those that know me. It's a HUGE deal. I guess I'm not really over the last couple of car crashes.

It even makes me sick now to write about it. (my tummy's doing flips) I know that I've covered by grace and I have peace when I have a plan, but to randomly get out and drive... Nope, not this gal. I do have a couple of routine things that I do each week, but dang if it still isn't a little stressful.

I don't want to get to comfortable behind the wheel, cause that's when I'll make the BIG mistake. Not that I'm not ready to go, I just don't want to help speed along the "big move".

Psalm 8

2009-01-08T21:30:00.001-05:00

Ever wondered where the song "How Majestic is your name" came from?

Psalm 8
1 O LORD, our Lord,
how majestic is your name in all the earth!
You have set your glory
above the heavens.

Still proud!!!!

2009-01-08T10:29:00.004-05:00

Even though hubby did not get a call back for the physical part of the testing for the paramedic position, I'm still proud. This is an opportunity to gain more knowledge and use this time to get more physically fit instead of waiting to the last possible second to get started.

More Biskit

2009-01-07T08:48:00.005-05:00

"There's nothing wrong with more Biscuit."

Hubby and I were looking at some pictures he took of some cars this morning. As I was going forward the camera card had a reader error, so I pushed on through to find a picture of my bff and her newest little addition to their family. "Biskit". I pushed the back button on the camera to see if I could "trick" the technology into showing me the missing picture and was quickly asked "why did I go backwards?" I said that I knew what was on the other side of the picture of Biskit, which was more Biskit.. (what a cutie...) the response was "There's nothing wrong with more Biskit."

And there we have it folks... today's saying...